beingbroke
It sucks.
I hate my family’s economic situation.
I hate how I don’t know when we’re going to get our next set of groceries or when if we’re going to get our electricity cut off again.
I hate how all of our money goes to bills and debts that my mother owes.
I hate how I feel like I can’t afford to go to college or even get a car.
I hate how we’re so broke, that my mom has to work all the time and I have no physical way of getting myself a job to help pay for my own things.
I hate how, no matter what I try to do, it doesn’t help because my mom doesn’t care. She doesn’t care that I give up eating half the time so she doesn’t have to buy me so much vegetarian food. she doesn’t care that I bust my butt cleaning so she doesn’t have to come up to a dirty filthy trailer. She doesn’t care that I quit all my extra curricular activites during the school year so she didn’t have to worry about dues or gas money to get me too and from places after school or during the week. She doesn’t care that I gave up driver’s ed so she didn’t have to pay the fees.
I care so so much.
and she doesn’t give a shit.
And that’s what I hate more than anything.
THAT’S MY BOYFRAN
this picture makes me smile like this :D
but that fist is way too hardcore for his face. haha!
so basically
the school year is a day from being over and i’m not sure how i feel about it. i’m going to miss my friends this summer, because with my schedule there is no way i can see them every day.
i’m also terrified of the future. i’ve put off preparing for college and i don’t know how i’m going to…work out anything. i’m going to need to pull out some serious college loans to pay for everything because with my grades there is no way in hell i can get a decent scholarship. that, and i don’t even know what i want to major in or what i want to do with my life. i’m just a kid, how the hell am i supposed to make it in the real world?
it’s times like this i wish my life was like a movie. full of trials and obstacles to over come. but at least in the movies, you know there’s always a happy ending.
it’s not so much like that in the real world.
I try my hardest to be the best friend I can be, I put myself out there on a limb for my friends and do everything I can to make them feel better about things going on in their lives…
And the one time I really, truly need my friends to be there for me…
They fucking disappear.
What the hell did I do to deserve friends who don’t give a shit?
forget.
I’m really bad at the whole ‘remembering’ to post thing. I blame Twitter, to be honest. I’m better at the whole, single sentence update on my life every hour than a three page long update on my life every two days.
xD
Sue me.
